The End.

Well...it's over. BF's mom died Sunday afternoon.

That always sounds so blunt, but I can't come up with another way to say it that I don't hate. I'm not a fan of euphemisms, they certainly don't cushion the message, I'm not really sure what they're really good for.

She had a peaceful death, surrounded by people who loved her. We had her moved into the hospice on Friday afternoon and they took very good care of both her and us. It was the best place we could've hoped for for her final days. It's an old refurbished Victorian mansion in the Chestnut Hill section of Philadelphia. Surrounded by trees and gardens, they're really made it feel as far removed from a hospital or nursing home environment as they could. The architecture is beautiful. The furniture and decor all makes you feel at home. The dining room has lovely tables and real linens. There isn't even an elevator, but a beautiful spiral staircase that goes up to the third floor with a chair lift along the rail. The nursing staff is incredible at a four to one nurse to patient ratio. They have the assistance of a big pool of volunteers as well. Everyone there is friendly and helpful. They have so much experience with death and dying that they really make you feel totally at ease and give you the opportunity to focus solely on your loved one. It was a much nicer place to be, but I don't think she was conscious at all.

Her sister and brother-in-law came up on Friday as well. They've been up from North Carolina several times since her first hospitalization. It's been great for all of us to have them here. As BF is an only child, the responsibility for arranging his mother's care has fallen on us and it was really helpful to have some more family around to give him input and reinforce that he was making the right decisions about his mom's care. We also had the little man on Sunday and as we all (me, BF, and his ex wife) felt that it would be best if the little guy wasn't there to see his grandma like that, it was good that BF's aunt and her husband could go over to the hospice with BF to be there when his mom died.

The three of them came home Sunday afternoon after she died. BF grilled up some steaks and we all had a nice dinner and sat around talking and watching TV for the evening. They left early the next morning for the ten hour drive home. We've been keeping pretty busy since then. She chose to be cremated without a viewing, so there wasn't much to take care of there and all of her family is out of state and not planning on coming in for a service, so we're not planning on really having one. BF really just feels that a formal memorial service wouldn't be what she wanted, so we've just been seeing everyone we love and talking and remembering.

It's so bizarre that she's gone. She and I were just getting close. I was so looking forward to having her as a mother-in-law and as a grandmother to my kids. I'm really going to miss her so much. She had so much life ahead of her, so much living left to do. Sixty-one is far too young to die.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so very sorry for your loss, Rachel. I know how hard this has been on your BF's family, and even yours. The only comfort is that she is now in peace, and not hurting anymore. You're in my thoughts.