Party!

My graduation party is tonight, after having to be postponed by two months.  I'm not expecting nearly the turnout as we expected for the first one; having a party on a Saturday in July almost guarantees that half of your invitees will either be on vacation or have other plans of some sort.  But it will be nicer this way.  I invited 120 people to the first and was expecting 80.  This time we're expecting maybe 50.  

So everything is falling into place.  The foods made.  BF and I spent the night hanging out and cooking desserts and salads at my mom's place last night.  It was a really good time.  I also got treated to a manicure with my step-mom and step-sister yesterday afternoon, which was very nice.  We've been loafing around the house all day today.  BF made his awesome chicken salad for the party, but that's the extent of the productivity here.  I'm in the process of doing my hair and makeup and then we're off to my mom's for my dress as the zipper broke and she kept it last night to fix it.  I'm helpless when it comes to sewing.  

So we're going over there and then my whole immediate family is off to the party venue to decorate and setup in the hour before the invitation start time that they're letting us in the place.  It should be an interesting scramble to watch.  BF's going to go to the caterer and pick up all of the food and then the three dozen balloons we have coming.  

I'm really looking forward to this. Well, not really looking forward to it, only sort of looking forward to it.  I just feel like everything has gone so far south lately that it's hard to think of it as a time to celebrate. I have no job or even prospects of a job.  I still feel like crap; the last three days I've been having stupid chest pain and I'm all doped up.  I'm depressed and morbid and pessimistic.  But maybe it's just what I need; lots of friends and family, some music, some conversation, to look my best.  Celebration, even if it feels unwarranted, may just make me feel like it's warranted.